


Guns and Roses

by BatJokesFandom



Category: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Batjokes, Batman - Freeform, Batman LEGO Movie, Cute, Drama & Romance, F/F, Fluff, Gay, Joker - Freeform, Joker batman lego movie, M/M, Multi, Swearing, What the fuck am I writing?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-01-29 23:43:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 7,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12641703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatJokesFandom/pseuds/BatJokesFandom





	1. Uninvited guests

"Sir?" Alfred came into Bruce's view as he continued. "Sir, you have a visitor." 

Bruce Wayne couldn't remember any appointments that he may have scheduled for today. Suddenly, he began to hear footsteps approaching his study. He quickly stood up, and took a fighting stance. (He isn't in his bat uniform) Bruce was prepared for anything, except for this...

"Batsy~ I'm home~" The rushing footsteps were approaching faster. And regrettably, the multi billionaire realized who it was. He was fine with the prince of crime visiting every now and then. But he had visited Wayne Manor every day for the past week. Every day he's come here with his 'Girl buddy' and taken up all of his free time. 

As if on cue, the Joker barged into the study, and searched for his batsy. He looked around and saw Bruce. "Oh! Brucie, do you know where your roommate is?" 

Bruce relaxed for a moment, remembering that joker didn't know of his true identity. Even though he was currently face to face with him. "I have no idea to be honest. You could check the basement. Since that's his room, I mean." 

"Oh, thank you Brucie! I have no idea why I didn't think of that."

Joker started to run down the hallway of the west wing, before he ran into boy wonder. They both fell backwards in opposite directions from each other. Joker sat up, ignoring his growing headache. The only thing he cared about was the boy wonder. "Oh my god, Robin! Are you okay?" Batman was not going to forgive him for this one.

"Huh?" the bird sat up, his right hand on his forehead. He shook his head for a moment, and saw the Joker in front of him. The Joker and the boy wonder consider each other family in a way. Since in both of their minds, friends are family. "Oh! Hi Mr.Joker sir! I'm sorry for bumping into you! Are you alright?" The Joker had a rough time trying to come up with a logical reason as to how Robin forgot all of his pain. How he was always more worried about others, rather than himself. 'Kinda like Bats in a way.' The Prince thought before answering. 

"Oh! Don't worry about 'lil old me! Are you okay?" 

"Yes!" The little Robin answered perhaps to cheerfully. It made Joker's thoughts wander for a moment. He began to think about the future, about how he wanted Robin to be his son and Bats to be-He quickly woke up and saw that Robin was still staring at him. "Mr. Joker sir?"

"You don't have to call me that, little birdie!" Joker then walked over to where Robin was standing and ruffled his hair for a moment. "Call me the Jokes or the Joker." 

"Okay, Joker" He smiled and then asked me a new question. "So, are you looking for my dad?"

"Mhm, do you know where he is?" 

"Yep, i'll take you there!" Robin grabbed Joker's left hand with his right and continued on to the room the Bruce was in. They walked through the entrance of Bruce's study. Bruce looked over at Robin and Joker before he spoke "Oh, hello Joker. Did you find him yet?"

"Nope. Little birdie here is supposed to show me where Batman is." Joker responded.

"I did." Boy Wonder answered.

"Wha?" Joker was very, very confused.

"Yep, I thought you knew that Bruce is the Batman. Unless-Hey...Padre? Is Joker who you told me I couldn't tell a while back?" Dick became worried.

"Yes, Dick. He is." Bruce rubbed his eyebrows.

 

(I'm so sorry that my first chapter is short, but I'm going to be making the rest of my chapters longer, I promise! If you have any suggestions for my story, please share them with me in the comment section below. Thank you!)


	2. The Batman and his 'Roommate'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Before we start, I'd like to go ahead and thank  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProcrastinationIsKey  
> and  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/Gweniegrl18  
> for commenting on my work. I would also like to thank  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/HelenaWinchester13  
> and  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystalHornet  
> and  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pound67  
> and  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/Gweniegrl18  
> and  
> https://archiveofourown.org/users/PostwomanNat  
> as well as the mysterious guests for leaving kudos on my work. I didn't think that anyone would like my story. So, thank you. This really lifts my spirits! I hope that you still like my story as it goes on!

"Yes, Dick. He is." Bruce rubbed his eyebrows.

"Oh. Sorry Padre."

Joker pulled up a 'Spinny chair' as he called it, and sat down. His right elbow on his right knee as he pondered the situation. Bruce awaited his response and became more and more worried as the minutes passed. Joker then raised his right hand, confusion still written all over his face. "I have a question!" He exclaimed.

"Yes, Joker?" Bruce asked as he thought that his and Robin's conversation was clear enough. 

"Sauron told me that you were Batman's roomate, so are you saying that he lied to me? Or are you just embarrassed and don't want the GCPD to come barging into your house looking for Batman." He spat out his question.

"Yes, Joker. Sauron lied to you. *Sighs* I am the Batman." Bruce wasn't certain as to why the clown wasn't believing him.

"Hmph! Then prove it." Joker folded his arms like a child would. Bruce made a gesture for them to follow him. He went down the west wing stairs with the group not to far behind him. Then he headed to the Bat-cave. (Or the basement, which ever you prefer) Once they entered the Bat-cave, Bruce went over to the closet that was filled with bat-suits. Afterwards he put on his normal suit, turned to the bored Prince, and awaited his approval. Which, if I may add, he did not receive. 

"Walking into his apartment/basement thing and stealing his stuff isn't proving anything!" The green-haired villain lectured the 'impostor'. "*Sighs* Fine. I have an idea. Say something that Batman would say. Then i'll believe that you are the Batman." Bruce rubbed his forehead, this is exactly why he didn't want Joker to know his secret. He would waste all of the busy man's time asking questions that have already been answered. And he has. 

"I'm awesome." Bruce used his Batman voice.

"Ha. Very funny. Cute impersonation. Batman doesn't sound like that though, sorry to burst your bubble." Joker retorted. Bruce didn't know what he was supposed to say. He searched his 'Super mind' trying to think of something. Then it clicked, he had to say it. He had no choice, I mean he did...but he didn't want to sit here for the next few hours playing this game. 

"I hate you, J-bird." The Batman stated.

"..." Joker didn't answer. Instead, he fainted with no warning what-so-ever. Batman became very worried very quickly. He wasn't expecting this dramatic of a display.


	3. A plan

"..." Joker didn't answer. Instead, he fainted with no warning what-so-ever. Batman became very worried very quickly. He wasn't expecting this dramatic of a display.

"Padre? Is Joker okay?" Robin started to cry a little bit before asking "Is he dead?"

"What? No! He's not dead. He just fainted." Batman spoke to Robin trying to get him to calm down. Which to his surprise, actually worked. Robin walked over to Alfred and stood by him while Batman picked up a ruler from his work desk. He didn't want to take any chances, so he knelt down next to Joker, and started poking him with a ruler. He did this a few times, awaiting some sort of response.

Joker wasn't showing any signs of movement, and Batman wondered if he was even breathing. The Dark Knight began to panic. Quickly, he tried to listen to the clown's heartbeat. He wanted to make sure that he was alive, at least. Luckily, the prince was breathing. His heartbeat was steady. 

Bruce began to search his head for any damages. The Joker didn't seem to suffer from any injuries, but that did not answer Batman's questions. What if Joker tells the cops? Or the News reporters? Or every citizen in Gotham? What was he going to do? He had no choice but to sit, and wait for the Joker to regain consciousness. 

So, before he did as planned, he turned to Alfred. "Alfred, please take care of him? I'll be back in a moment." Alfred simply nodded and did as he was told. He picked up the Joker, who was surprisingly light, and laid him under Bruce's blankets on his bed in his quarters. Then he tucked the clown in, took a seat, and waited for his master to return. 

Robin on the other hand, was waiting in the study, alone. For it seemed that everyone else had a purpose except for him. That was, until he heard something downstairs. He jogged down the hallway, for he was not allowed to run inside the manor. He came around another corner and ran face first into someone else. He shut his eyes as he fell backwards limply, and prayed that it wasn't his Padre. Boy wonder cautiously opened one eye and looked in front of him. "Ms. Harley?" 

Harley was feeling slightly dizzy for a moment. And forget about her aching head as she caught sight of the little birdie. "Oh my gosh! Are you okay little birdie?" Robin simply nodded, and asked the same. 

"Yeah, i'm fine! Are you?"

"Yep!, Don't worry about me though, okay?" Robin nodded again. Then Harley continued to speak "Okay. Hey where's everyone else?"

"Oh, Padre's somewhere downstairs. Alfred's in a room with Joker. And I feel like i'm forgetting something..." He trailed off for a moment before he remembered "Oh, right! The Joker fainted when he found out about Batman's secret identity."  
"Oh my gosh is he okay?" Harley was freaking out a little bit on the inside.

"Yeah, Padre said he's okay."

"That's good at least, so he finally found out about Bruce?"

"Yep! We are supposed to leave Joker alone while he rests, so...what do you want to do?"

"Hmm...Do you have any popcorn?" Harley was forming a plan.

"Yes!"

"Hot Chocolate and/or Soda products?" 

"Yep!"

"Movies?"

"Definitely!" 

"Are you thinking what i'm thinking?" Harley asked Robin with a smirk on her face.

Then they both answered in unison "Sleepover!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, I think that's going to be it for this chapter! I hope you enjoy!


	4. The bucket

Bruce, now in his red velvet robe, was heading towards his room when he heard a noise. It didn’t sound weird or anything, but it was in fact the sound of laughter. Mr. Wayne followed where the noise was coming from, and eventually found himself in front of the movie theater. He heard a female laughing that sounded like, if he wasn’t mistaken, Poison Ivy. Bruce didn’t want her near Dick, who he suspected was in there with her, alone and unsupervised. (Parental mode activated)

He kicked down the door, and ran inside, his robe still secure. “Ivy! What are you doing here with...” He paused as he saw an unexpected sight. It was his son in a pink sleeping bag lying next to Ivy and Harley, who were also in sleeping bags, on the floor. (Ivy’s was a evergreen, and Harley’s was black and red) 

They were watching ‘Sleepover’, One of Bruce’s favorites, without him. But he wasn’t jealous or anything…*Cough* Ivy, Harley, and the boy wonder turned towards him after they paused the movie.   
“Hey Padre! Sorry that I didn’t ask to have a sleepover…you seemed busy and I didn’t want to bother you.” Robin glanced down for a moment at his popcorn bowl and then looked back at his dad before continuing “We just started watching the movie, do you want to join?”

“Yeah! There’s plenty of room and snacks!” Harley added to Robin’s suggestion. 

“Sorry, Dick. I can’t right now, maybe later. I do have to go back upstairs and make sure that…” Batman was unexpectedly interrupted. 

“The love of your life is okay? Yeah, we get it.” Ivy paused before continuing “It’s okay Bruce, I was just joking. You have got to loosen up a bit, maybe stop at our place, get a massage? Hell, maybe your butler will give you one.” 

Bruce rolled his eyes before leaving the room, he headed back upstairs when he received a text from Alfred. ‘Sir, please hurry, he’s awake.’ And so, he ran upstairs and he ran into his bedroom, forgetting his current appearance as he did so. The bathrobe almost flew off, luckily, he tied it around himself before the Joker turned around.  
“Oh, hey J-bird. How are…“Before Bruce could ask how Joker was feeling, the clown fainted again. Bruce was really getting sick of this. So, he turned to Alfred. “Alfred?”

“Yes, sir?” 

“Get a bucket full of water.” Bruce began to form an idea. 

“Yes, sir.” Alfred tried not to laugh as he went to go get the pail of water. Many people did not know, but he was a master of pranks. He had in fact won the past three prank wars that Batman had started with him. But, that story is for another time.


	5. New clothes, please?

“Yes, sir.” Alfred tried not to laugh as he went to go get the pail of water. Many people did not know, but he was a master of pranks. He had in fact won the past three prank wars that Batman had started with him. But, that story is for another time. He continued onward down the stairs of the east wing. 

Bruce was waiting in the same room as Joker. He was sitting in the red, velvet recliner that was near the queen-sized bed. Bruce didn't know why, but he couldn't take his eyes off of Joker. But he put his thoughts aside and pulled out a book from a nearby bookcase. The cover read 'I've got your number'. It was a very popular chick flick novel. As soon as he had opened the book, and turned to the first page, Alfred walked in with the bucket of water.

"Does it have ice?" Bruce asked as he placed the hardcover book back onto the book shelf. 

"Yes, sir. I trust that you'd like to do the honors?" Alfred replied as he offered the pail to Bruce. Bruce gladly took the bucket, and walked to the bed. 

"Thank you, Alfred."

"Your welcome, sir. But, if I may, what about the blankets?" Alfred questioned.

"Your right, please remove them before I continue." Bruce responded, and as quickly as he had made the command, the butler removed the blankets from the bed. Bruce swung the bucket forward with enough force so that the water would reach the clown's body. It did. The soaked Prince quickly sat up with a surprised screech as he registered that he was cold and wet. Then he looked in front of the bed, there was a mirror. 

The poor villain, seeing his reflection, cried, "My hair!" His hair was completely wet. Luckily, he wasn't wearing his tailcoat or his vest. He was just wearing his button-up shirt and tie. As well as pants, of course. He shot a glare at Alfred, assuming that this was his fault. "You, you did this to me! Didn't you?"

"Actually, all he did was grab the bucket, I did it. It was my idea." Bruce gladly owned up to his prank. The Joker was shocked for a moment. 

"Oh, I see. You do hate me! Yay! You must have done this because you wanted to show me that you cared! Right?" He quickly jumped out of bed, forgetting about his soaked clothes. Then he thought of a perverse comment to add on to their conversation. "Or is it because you just want to see me we-" Batman/Bruce cut him off mid-sentence.

"No, I did this because you kept fainting when you found out that I'm the Batman." Bruce rubbed his eyebrows again before continuing "Alfred could you please get him some new clothes?"

"Yes, sir." Alfred left so that he could do what was asked of him. 

Bruce looked back at Joker and continued "Joker, now that you know, could you please n-" Bruce was getting sick of being interrupted. 

"Not tell anyone? Sure, of course Brucie! Scouts honor!" Joker then saluted Mr. Wayne. 

"Thank you, J-bird."

"Anything for you Batsy!" Joker looked at Alfred who had just entered the room with some folded laundry in his arms. 

"Here you go, Joker, we will leave you to your privacy. Go ahead and get dressed, afterwards please set your laundry in this basket here. Thank you." And with that, Alfred and Bruce left the room. Alfred, of course, closed the door behind them.


	6. Without me?

"Here you go, Joker, we will leave you to your privacy. Go ahead and get dressed, afterwards please set your laundry in this basket here. Thank you." And with that, Alfred and Bruce left the room. Alfred, of course, closed the door behind them.

Joker stripped and put the still soaked clothing into the basket, then, he started to get dressed. He grabbed the black t-shirt that had the batman symbol on the front of it and put it on. Next, he put on the black pair of briefs. Joker paused as he realized that the butler had just given him a pair of underwear. He made a mental note to ask Alfred about that later.

Afterwards, he slipped on the black sweatpants and the black pair of socks. Then, the Joker looked around for a mirror. It didn’t take too long, for he had quickly spotted one above the nearby dresser. He walked over to the mirror and fixed his hair as much as he could. After all, he had to look presentable. (Even if black wasn’t his favorite)  
The clown was fine with the color black, but he had kept note of the fact that batman looked better in it.

As far as he was concerned, everyone in Gotham knew that the Prince looked rather stunning in bright colors. Once he decided that he looked much better than he had before, he went over to the door. He paused before he opened the door and sighed. The Joker was still getting over the fact that Bruce Wayne, Gotham’s playboy, was the vigilante, Batman. 

But he shook off those thoughts and opened the door. Then he heard nearby laughter and decided find the source of the commotion. The prince skipped down the hallway, and slid down the railing of the west wing stairs. Eventually, he made his way to the source, the theater. He was shocked when he saw the kicked down door lying on the floorboards. Had something exciting happened without him? 

He quickly ran into the theater and was stunned by the display before him. "Hi, Puddin! I brought your purple sleeping bag!" Harley, Ivy, and Robin were lying in sleeping bags on the floor. Bruce was sitting on a black sleeping bag not to far away from the others. 

"You guys are watching Serendipity without me?" Joker's eyes teared up. 

"What? No, Joker, we have just finished sleepover. We are about to watch Serendipity! Alfred is changing out the movie right now. So, why don't you join us?" Robin offered some popcorn to Joker. The prince was elated to have been invited to watch Serendipity. So, he gladly took some popcorn and his purple sleeping bag. Then he lied down next to robin and the others. He looked over at Bruce who was alone in the corner. 

The Prince would not allow this, so he got up and went over to the pouting billionaire.


	7. Alone

The Prince would not allow this, so he got up and went over to the pouting billionaire. Once he had reached him, he laid his sleeping bag down and got inside it. He was practically laying against Bruce’s shoulder. Oddly enough, Bruce enjoyed the closeness. But he also enjoyed his privacy and his space.

“Joker, what are you doing?”

“I’m getting comfortable and making sure that you are not alone during a sleepover. That is not what they are about you know? Sleepovers are meant to make everyone closer, and happier"

"That's not what I do"

“It is now.” He placed his right pointer finger on Bruce’s lips for a short moment before continuing “Now shush, the movie is starting.” The Joker then removed his finger from the bat’s lips and curled up against him. Alfred walked in with a cooler and several bowls of popcorn. (And a sleeping back strapped onto his back. A butler was always supposed to be prepared, after all.) 

“I have brought the popcorn and the cooler, sir. Would anyone like a cold one?” Everyone in the theater raised their right hand, and Alfred popped the cooler open. He gave Harley an ice-cold Dr. Pepper, Robin an ice-cold Diet Pepsi, (After all, coke was unfortunately bad for you…then again…what wasn’t?) Then, he gave Poison Ivy a Sprite. (He also gave them their own, individual popcorn bowls)

Afterwards, he walked over to the Clown and the well-dressed man. Alfred gave the Joker and Bruce an ice-cold Pepsi, a single bowl of popcorn, and an odd look. (Alfred’s suspicions only grew as he noticed that they had been sharing the same bowl instead of using their own bowls individually) And they were completely oblivious to his glare. 

Alfred bundled up in his sleeping bag (After unstrapping the bag from his back) then he kept a close eye on them both. He was determined to figure out what was going on, one way or another. (PARENTAL MODE ACTIVATED.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating until today, my father has been in the hospital. Luckily, he came home today, so I was able to continue this story. If you have any suggestions for future chapters please let me know. Thank you. I also must apologize for my extreme use of parenthesis during this chapter.


	8. Distance

WARNING SPOILERS TO SERENDIPITY

Alfred bundled up in his sleeping bag (After unstrapping the bag from his back) then he kept a close eye on them both. He was determined to figure out what was going on, one way or another. (PARENTAL MODE ACTIVATED)

Later, during the movie, Dick burst out loudly. “Ohmygosh! My favorite part is coming up!” Everyone shushed him in unison, right as Jonathan had been talking to Sara. 

“Happy anniversary.” Jonathan spoke.

“When did you get to be so unimaginably romantic?” Sara asked.

“I think that it’s good luck that we return this year to the scene of the crime.” He answered simply as he poured some champagne into some paper cups before handing one to Sara. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.” Sara repeated.

“Awwww! So cute!” Joker stated as he flailed at Bruce for a moment. Luckily, Bruce caught their popcorn bowl before it fell over. He let out a sigh of victory at successfully saving the buttery goodness. ‘Strike one’ Alfred thought to himself.

“Shhhh!” Harley, Ivy, and Dick practically shouted at the clown. 

“Sorry.” The prince whispered apologetically. Bruce moved the popcorn bowl back onto his lap. Joker continued watching the movie and went to grab some popcorn from the playboy’s clutches. Joker paused when he realized that he had not grabbed popcorn, but had instead grabbed Bruce’s right hand. ‘Strike two.’ Alfred quietly watched them.

The clown waited for a moment, but Bruce hadn’t removed his hand. He hadn’t even tried to stop him. The Prince looked up and met the billionaire’s gaze. He stared into his deeply into his eyes, wondering if they’d always sparkled like that. It was as if they had belonged to an anime character. ‘Strike three.’ The butler quickly stood up from his sleeping bag and pulled a book out of it. Bruce remained silent as he stared back into the clown’s soft, innocent, gentle eyes. Joker was looking at him in a way he’d never noticed before.

Suddenly Alfred separated his and Joker’s hands by placing an extremely oversized book between them. Bruce sputtered as the Joker glared at Alfred while pouting. Bruce remained confused as they looked at Alfred. “Wha’ What?”  
“Please maintain a respectful distance at all times.” Alfred scolded the Prince in his no nonsense, posh, british accent. 

“Alfred … what are you doing? This is My house. I make the rules.” Bruce responded firmly. 

“And as such don’t you agree that we should maintain a sense of decorum. After all, it’s not appropriate to do this while your son is in the room.” Alfred lifted a finger while delivering his lecture. “He has young eyes that have no need to see this sort of behavior. I would like to keep it that way until he has at least reached the ripe age of forty-five.” 

Robin looked at them with wide, completely oblivious eyes. His little cheeks were stuffed from popcorn. He tilted his head to the side to show that he was confused. “Vwuv vis ‘e pocking arbut Baf-da’?” (What is he talking about Bat-dad) Robin asked curiously, mouth still full of popcorn.

“I don’t know, he’s seeing things that aren’t there.” Batman stated as he glared at Alfred. 

“Shush! You guys are ruining the movie!” Harley yelled at the four boys before the tension rose.

The Boy Wonder simply shrugged and kept eating popcorn as he returned to watching the movie. Alfred placed his book on a nearby nightstand and he sat on his sleeping bag with a ‘hmpf’of disapproval. It was almost too close that time. He had to make sure that he was more careful for the future.  
Bruce took a long sip from his can of Pepsi. He made a mental note to set some boundaries for Alfred.

If he wanted to share popcorn with Joker and their hands accidentally touched, his butler would have to deal. The Joker, on the other hand, didn’t know what just happened. Alfred had randomly decided to interrupt his and Brucie’s moment. Was he trying to keep them apart?!!!!!! The Prince was not going to allow this! He had to come up with a plan. 

He quickly stood up, and began to walk towards the exit of the theater. If Bruce wanted this to work, he’d have to fight for him.  
“Where are you going, J-bird?” The multi-billionaire immediately asked, just like Joker had planned. 

“I don’t have to stay here and take this!” The clown mock-swooned as he waited for a response. 

“Joker, what are you talking about?” The bachelor raised his right eyebrow as he stared at Joker. 

“If I have to explain myself, then you obviously don’t care!” Tears began to gather in the Prince’s eyes before he ran out of the theater. 

Bruce turned to everyone else and repeated himself. “What is he talking about?”

“Well, what are you standing here for?” Harley asked accusingly.

“What?” Batman/Bruce became more and more confused by the second.

“Go run after your boyfriend before it’s too late.” Ivy stated.

“He’s not my bofrie- fine, forget it.” Bruce ran after Joker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm not dead! I'm SO sorry I haven't replied in forever! A lot has happened since the last time I updated. My school blocked this website, I had to take a few exams, my father went back to the hospital then he came back home. It has just been extremely difficult to post new chapters. However, I'm glad to announce that I should be posting at least once a week from now on! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! If you have any suggestions or complaints, feel free to message me!


	9. Drama

“He’s not my bofrie- fine, forget it.” Bruce ran after Joker. He didn’t know why, but he felt terrible. It might’ve been because he drank his soda too fast. He didn’t care though, he pushed those feelings aside. He didn’t know what was going on with that clown. What was he thinking? Maybe the Prince was thinking about him the way he thought about-no. Stop. Focus on seeing what’s wrong first. 

“Joker?” He became more worried by the second. “Joker!” There still was no response. Bruce was examining the area outside when he spotted some plainly obvious evidence. The clown prince of crime had left spray-painted smiley faces on every building he had crossed. It was plain to Bruce that he had to follow the trail to find the Joker. (pause ‘N drama)

After ten or so minutes, the billionaire finally spotted the wayward clown on a rooftop. The bachelor went inside the building and climbed the stairs as fast as he could. (Humming dramatic Batman theme song) Eventually, he reached the rooftop. Bruce walked over to where the Joker was moping while painting frowny faces onto a gargoyle, and sat next to him.

Bruce took note of the fact that Joker was still crying, just barely. “Uh-um, Hey J-bird. What’s up?” Bruce was good at a lot of things, this was not one of them. This ‘affection’ thing. Joker turned away from Bruce and tried to silent his sniffling. It was actually quite adorable. “Look, Joker, I’m s-s-s-sor-I’m s-sor-“ The billionaire wondered why he could never say that freaking word. He really needed to right now.

“Sorry? Don’t be *Sniffles* it’s your damn butler’s fault.” 

“What did Alfred do?” Bruce had no idea what the clown was talking about. He used his super detective skills to replay everything that had occurred during the movie. Nope, still nothing.

“He’s trying to stop me from getting close to you. *Sniffles* I haven’t done anything to him *Sniffles* So, why is he doing this?” Joker was really crying, at first it was part of his plan, but now, now it was real. Every tear was real. Every word that he had spoken. Batman was staring at him like a deer in the headlights.

“J-bird, look at me.” Bruce had no idea why, but he was wiping away a few of Joker’s tears, as if to comfort him. He tried to put everything he felt into one sentence. “No one can stop you from getting close to me. We hate each other, remember?” Did Bruce seriously just say that? 

“I don’t hate you anymore.” Joker turned away from Bruce again.

“What do you mean, J-bird?” Bruce’s heart began to beat wildly. Did Joker really not hate him anymore? How? Bruce was excited, maybe Joker didn’t hate him because he actually-no. The Prince would never feel that way about him. So why did he still hope for the impossible? Did the clown really want nothing to do with him? This was all so confusing.

“Never mind, it’s stupid, forget about it. Please?” Joker struggled to clean away the tears without smudging his … mascara.

“No. No, I refuse to forget about this J-Bird. Please tell me what’s going on!?” The Dark Night’s attention changed to a nearby explosion. The Prince of Crime looked as well, but before he could see who caused it, he saw his caped crusader glide towards the crime scene. 

“I thought that we were having a moment?” Joker asked, obviously irritated. “Dammit.” The clown swore that he would kill whomever did this. His hair and his eyes darkened as he thought of the many possible ways to murder. The upset Prince then jumped from the rooftop, and activated his parachute.


	10. Fridays

“I thought that we were having a moment?” Joker asked, obviously irritated. “Dammit.” The clown swore that he would kill whomever did this. His hair and his eyes darkened as he thought of the many possible ways to murder. The upset Prince then jumped from the rooftop and activated his parachute. 

After he landed onto the ground right next to batman (Which had looked super cool for a reason that was unknown) Joker spotted Two-Face (Harvey Dent) and the Scarecrow (Jonathan Crane) They must have been the ones to cause the explosion. The clown glanced around and saw that there were members of the G.C.P.D (Gotham City Police Department) everywhere.  
The Prince started walking towards Harvey and Jonathan before Batman grabbed his hand. “J-Bird where are you going?” 

“Why do you care!” Joker waited for an answer, but only received silence in return. Batsy wasn’t going to say it, so why should he wait just to be disappointed? The clown let out a “Hmph!” before he shook Batman’s hand off of his own and continued to walk over to the other two villains. Once he had reached them, he grabbed Two Face’s right hand (Careful to not touch his left) and Scarecrow’s left hand. Then he turned to face the G.C.P.D and said “We’ll be back.” Afterwards, he yanked both of the other male villains’ hands as a sign to follow him, surprisingly they complied.

Once they had gone behind a building in a nearby alleyway, Joker pinned the two to the wall by their collars. (What? You thought he was going to pin them by grabbing their throats? That’s insane! It’s way too dark for this story!) “What are you two thinking?” The obviously irritated Prince asked accusingly.

“That we should make a building explode…why?” Harvey was becoming confused. Did he forget something?

“Ugh! What day is it, Two-Face?” Joker rolled his eyes in irritation.

“Thursday. Why?” Harvey didn’t think that anything special was going on today.

“No! It’s Friday! And what are you not supposed to do on Fridays?” Joker growled the last sentence. “Check your calendars on your phones, please?”

Two Face used his right hand to pull out his phone, Scarecrow did the same. Their facial expressions dropped. It was in that moment that they realized they fucked up.

“Well? What day is it?”

“Friday.”

“And What do you do on Friday’s?”

“Nothing.”

“And why is that?” 

“Because you don’t want us to screw up things between you and the Bat.”

“And you know what you did?”

“We screwed up things between you and the Bat.”

“Yeah, you did. Good Job. Really, an A-fucking-plus to both of you!” 

“Sorry, Joker.”

“*Sigh* It’s okay, but don’t do it again.”

“We won’t.” 

And with they’re last words, Joker dropped their collars, grabbed their hands, and dragged them back to the G.C.P.D.  
“Um, thank you Joker?” Barbra Gordon was surprised to see the clown capture the other two criminals after talking to them in an alleyway behind a building. But everything should be fine, this was the most normal thing that had happened in a while. Two-Face and Scarecrow were the only villains to have actually committed a crime on a Friday in the past two months. “How can we repay you?” 

“Actually, there’s something I need to ask you Commish. (Commissioner)” Joker played with his hands for a moment. 

“Okay? What’s up?” Barbra asked with caution. 

The Prince looked around to make sure that the dark knight wasn’t nearby before continuing. “I need you to not use the Bat-signal for anything for at least two days. Please?”

“Why?” 

“Blink Blink Blink Blinkety Blink Blink Blink.” Joker spoke with big shining eyes, like a child who wanted a toy.

“Why, Joker? I have to have a valid reason to do something like that.”

“It’s for love, Commish. Are you going to try to stop love?”

“No. Wait are you and Batman actually a-“

“That doesn’t matter, the point is, please do not use the Bat-signal? Thank you!” And with that, Joker ran back to Wayne Manor. 

“Huh. I thought The Batman didn’t do ‘ships’.”


	11. Hey.

Hey. I won't be able to post again for who knows how long. I lack inspiration due to my fathers recent death. And since this is supposed to be a fluff story, id rather not ruin it. If I do write a chapter, which I should eventually, I'm sure you'll receive a notification. Thank you for liking my story so far. And I apologize for the inconvenience.


	12. Text

"You think they kissed yet?" Harley broke the silence in the quiet mansion. 

"No,  Harley.  If they did,  Joker would be spamming us right now." Ivy answered blankly as she continued to cuddle her girlfriend. 

"I guess so... " Harley's thoughts we're interrupted by the unexpected chime coming from her phone which was then followed by another chime... and another chime after that. "You were saying,  Red?"

"*sigh* okay,  I was wrong. " Ivy replied simply. 

Harley then read her Notifications... 

The Jokes  
Hey.

The Jokes  
G. B,  I need ur help with a plan I'm forming.  

The Jokes  
Can we meet up?

                                                                  Girl Buddy  
                    Sure!  Where do u want to meet up? 

The Jokes  
Great! 

The Jokes  
Coffee shop,  ASAP! 

 

"So, what's going on?" Ivy asked questionably. 

Harley placed her phone in her purse.  "I have to go to the Coffee shop to help him." She then saw Ivy pout and continued "I'll be back as soon as possible,  I promise! " She smiled after planting a kiss on Pamela's cheek.   
   
"Alright,  just be careful sweetheart." Pam sighed as she watched her leave. 

"I will,  don't worry about me Red." And with that,  Harley left the mansion and headed to the Coffee shop as she was instructed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I know this chapter was super short. My chapters I had been working on got deleted. I know this chapter might be a let down, but I am trying. I have a lot planned for the next few chapters!


	13. The Coffee Shop: Part One.

Joker was at the Coffee shop waiting for Harley's arrival. He was putting together a pretty simple plan and couldn't wait to reveal it to her. Well, he could, but he really didn't want to. The Prince had struck up a conversation with the Barista in the mean time, they had recently become friends due to the whole “Saving Gotham City” thing. Her name was Kara and she was really sweet to him. She would compliment his hair and his very festive yet fashionable attire often. The Joker didn't think much of it. His mind was far to occupied by the thoughts of his Batsy/Brucie. 

“Hey, Joker, are you alright? You seem bothered by something.” Kara spoke with concern.

“I'm sorry, I must have spaced out or something. *Sigh* Basically I’ve been working on a plan to tell this one guy how I feel, and normally he's really smart, but recently he's been oblivious to everything I say. He has even been ignoring my compliments, and he loves hearing compliments. So why is it different with me? And I mean, it's complicated because we hate each other. Well, he really hates me anyway.” The clown rested his chin on his hands with another sigh as he finished his rant. 

“Maybe you should try to just sit down with him and tell him how you feel. And if he hates you, then things can't get any worse, right? ” The Barista smiled softly. Right before Joker could respond, the door to the shop opened unexpectedly. 

“Oh hey Harrr...youuu are not Harley.” Joker paused after realizing that Bruce had just entered the building. The Prince almost fell off of his stool and almost knocked over his coffee from the counter. His embarrassment showed on his face as his cheeks turned pink. Kara smirked with realization and continued working.


	14. The Coffee Shop: Part Two

“I think that's pretty obvious.” the billionaire chuckled as he watched the Clown be a klutz. “Anyway, why didn't you tell me you would be here? This is my favorite Coffee shop, I would've tagged along J-Bird.” He looked at Joker with confusion before asking the Barista for his usual. 

“I...uh...” Joker looked at Kara for some help, which she didn't return. She simply shrugged and continued brewing Bruce's drink. He gulped and straightened his posture before continuing. “I wanted to talk to you, but you seemed busy.” 

“Oh, alright, that makes sense.” Bruce went ahead and sat down next to the Prince, receiving his Mocha from Kara as he did so. “So what did you want to talk about?” Before the clown could answer, Harley entered the building. 

“Hey, Joker! So what's the plan with Bru---aneee...Bane. Yep. What's the plan with Bane?” Harley sat down on the opposite side of The Clown Prince of Crime, trying to ignore the mistake she had almost made. Bruce almost did a spit-take.

“What about Bane?” Bruce asked after he swallowed some of his Coffee. 

“Oh, um, I was going to throw him a party or something...” Joker turned to Harley “But some stuff came up.” 

“Oh. That sucks. Well I'll let Ivy know. She's going to be super disappointed.” Harley grabbed her phone from her purse and pretended to message Ivy. 

“So, I believe we were having a discussion?” Bruce asked The Joker curiously. 

“Oh um...yeah, the thing I wanted to tell you...um...” Joker paused as he received a text from Harley.

He read the messages quickly...

Girl Buddy  
Tell him you have beautiful eyes.

The Jokes  
Okay, Thanks so much!

The Prince replied to Harley's text and looked up at Bruce “I have beautiful eyes...” Bruce was stunned for a moment and then became confused as he saw Harley face-palm behind Joker.


	15. The Coffee Shop: Part Three

Bruce came up with a reply almost instantly “Yes, you do.” he smirked as he saw J-Bird and Harley's jaw drop. Joker's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Then he cleared his throat before continuing “I mean...thank you. But..why do you do this to me?”

“...Um...what do you mean?” The billionaire didn't think he offended the Prince in anyway, but the clown's change of tone suggested otherwise. He noticed that Harley took a long, awkward sip of her coffee. 

“You compliment me, flirt back with me, but you hate me...you said so yourself.” Joker was holding back tears now as he stood up from his seat. “I told you I didn't hate you...how is this not clear to you?” He stared at Bruce as he waited for a response “Oh never mind, what am I expecting from you at this point?” He ignored the billionaire's confusion, sparing not even a glance towards him as he left the coffee shop. 

“Wow, you really are an idiot.” Kara spoke as she gave Harley her Mocha. Before Bruce could reply to Kara, an unknown liquid splashed all over the front of his suit. It wasn't hot, but it certainly wasn't comfortable. He looked at Harley, who was holding an empty cup that used to contain her Mocha. 

“What the hell, Harley?”

“I don't see why he likes you.” Harley picked up her purse before she left the building and began looking for The Joker, while Bruce remained baffled.

He turned to Kara “What just happened?” 

“Look, all I can say Mr. Wayne is that you need to go talk to him. Alone. Every time someone else is around, you seem to ignore the issue at hand until it blows up in your face.” The Barista looked at Bruce as reality settled in. 

“Thank you Kara, I needed that.” He nodded at the Barista. She smiled back before continuing her work. Bruce rushed out of the shop, and started looking for the clown. He knew it was some big misunderstanding but he needed to fix it, fast.


	16. Confession

After a while, Bruce finally found Joker in a nearby alleyway. He saw that he was talking to Harley, so Bruce hid for a moment, as he tried to figure out what was going on.

“I told ya he was bad for you, hun.” Harley looked at the clown with a sympathetic expression.

“I know! I..I just didn’t want to believe it.” The Prince looked to the side, trying to hold back his tears.

“I'm really sorry...Do you wanna head to the manor?” Harley knew that Joker needed a distraction from all of the endless drama. “There's still a few more movies we can watch?”

“No its fine. Maybe later, but thank you Harls.” The sad clown attempted to leave the alley, but suddenly tripped over the crouching billionaire. He fell onto the sidewalk, and tried to get away from him. He didn't want to see Bruce, or rather speak to him anymore than he had to. 

Bruce sat up after the incident and realized that the prince was trying to leave him again. He stood up and called out to him “Joker, wait! Can we please just talk about this?”

The Clown stopped running and turned around to face the billionaire. “I've been trying to talk to you. It hasn't seem to help so far.” 

“That wasn't conversation. That was you saying how you felt and running off after-wards. Every time I tried to talk to you, I ended up hurting you somehow. It's all a simple misunderstanding, J-Bird.” Bruce grabbed Joker's right wrist. 

“Okay, how is this a misunderstanding though?” The Prince's confusion increased.

“I...I hate you J.” The Billionaire began before being interrupted. 

“Yes, you made that extremely clear.” The Joker looked to the side, still trying to hold back his stubborn tears.

“Just listen...please?” Bruce looked at the clown for a moment, gathering his thoughts before he continued. “I thought 'I hate you' meant something else. Whenever we saved Gotham together...I said I hated you and you said you hated me as well. At the time...at the time I thought that 'I hate you' was our way of saying 'I like you'. That's why I was so confused when you said you didn't hate me anymore. I'm super bad at this..this relationship thing.” 

Joker was stunned. He just stared at the billionaire for a moment before he fell backwards and everything went black.

Bruce couldn't believe what just happened. He hadn't even considered this outcome of the situation. The Joker had fainted...AGAIN. He carefully picked the clown up bridal style and asked Harley, who had been extremely confused, to call Alfred and ask him to pick them up.

 

AT THE MANOR...

The billionaire had been sitting next to the bed where the clown had been resting. It had been an hour since they got back, and he was starting to worry. 'Feelings are stupid' he thought to himself. He had finally gotten to tell the Prince how he felt, and he didn't even get an answer. He knew that Joker was probably going to reject his feelings, due to the simple fact that Bruce hadn't been straight-forward with him until now.

He couldn't even begin to imagine all of the confusion and pain that the clown had been through. Bruce closed his eyes as he attempted to relax. Eventually, he heard the rustling of the bedding being moved and opened his eyes to find the Joker staring at him. The billionaire tensed up, he was trying to prepare himself for what the Prince would surely say.

“So...let me get this straight..you hate me? But in a 'like me' way?” The clown tilted his head to the side.

“Yeah.” Bruce replied, the butterflies multiplying in his stomach as he spoke.

“Oh, Good! I hate you too.” The Joker grinned as he got out of the bed and stood, facing Bruce. 

“Wait, In a 'like me' way?” The billionaire's heart was racing. 

The Prince went over to Bruce, and randomly kissed him on his right cheek. “Mhm!” The Joker then decided to leave the room, leaving a stunned, flustered, Bruce Wayne. “I mean, of course he likes me. I'm Bruce Wayne. Everyone likes me. Right...this is going to take some getting used to.” The billionaire smiled before the Clown interrupted his thoughts. 

“Hey, you coming? Harley's starting a movie for us.” The still blushing Joker asked questionably.

“Yeah, I'm coming J-Bird.” Bruce stood up and saw Joker run off towards the theater. He began to follow him, but stopped once he walked by the old family photos on the walls of the main corridor. The Orphan looked at a photo of his parents before speaking. “Hey Mom, hey Dad. I'm starting a new chapter. I'm trying to...trying to be happy and expand our family...you'd probably like him. He's really funny, and he makes me happy. Dick really likes him too. I uh..I wish you could meet him. But I..I just wanted to give you an update.” Bruce smiled softly to himself as he imagined Joker meeting his parents while he walked to the theater. Once inside, he spotted Joker and sat down next to him. The Prince hugged Bruce and cuddled him as they watched the movie together. 

THE END. 

(I'm sorry for cutting this story short everybody, I will be writing batjokes short stories/one-shots eventually. But I 'm not exactly great at writing fluff stories, so I haven't been able to write this final chapter until now. Thank you everyone who decided to read my story and thank you for the Kudos, bookmarks, and comments!All of you really brightened my day! <3 <3 <3)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if you do not like this story. But I support the batjokes ship. I just wanted to get my ideas out there.


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